Let Us Introduce You to Your Firepit

Running a campground teaches you many things.

How to fix things you didn’t break.

How to smile while answering the same question for the 47th time. (When do the deer turn into Elk?)

And how to look into a fire pit and calmly think, “…is that what I think it is?”

At 5 Branches, fire pits are like living rooms. They’re where stories are told, marshmallows are sacrificed, and friendships are forged under the stars. They are not, however, trash cans.

After years of cleaning (and yes even searching for cool firepit finds), I have compiled a highly scientific (and emotionally complex) list of what we have found.

The Funny Finds

These are the ones that make us laugh, shake our heads, and add another story to the campground lore.

• Hot dogs. Entire hot dogs. Not burnt. Not cooked. Just… abandoned. But they don’t last long. We’ve got hungry wildlife too!

• Half-melted marshmallows still on the stick. A crime scene of lost patience.  Mine are usually burned to a size 4 times the original and then they slowly slide off the stick. I like em crispy.

• Flip flops. We assume they were never meant to be burned, yet here we are.

• A single sock. Always one. Never a pair. I am guessing the dryer at home might have the other pair?

• Corn cobs. Which raises the question: grilled corn, or experimental fire starter?

These finds feel harmless. Confusing, yes — but harmless.

The “Why Would Anyone Burn That?” Category

This is where things get more… philosophical.

• Plastic water bottles (now fused permanently to the pit)

• Aluminum cans that explode dramatically and leave behind regret

• Foam food containers that smell like sadness and bad decisions

• A shoe sole  

At this point, you start to wonder if there was a plan. Or a moment where someone said, “you think this will burn?” and no one answered. I guess the camping equivalent of a "Hold My Beer" moment.

 The Other Finds that Defy Logic

And then… there are the ones that make us pause.

• Diapers. Burned diapers. Ummm....yuck!

• Glass bottles shattered

• Entire bags of trash tossed in and partially melted, like a cursed casserole

• Things that smelled wrong immediately — no visuals needed

These are the moments that remind us why campground rules exist. And why staff members develop a very specific facial expression when approaching a fire pit.

So when you stay with us (or any other campground for that matter), please remember:

• Fire pits are for wood, approved fire starters, and marshmallows

• Trash goes in trash cans

• If you’re unsure whether something should be burned… it absolutely should not be

And if you ever wonder what the wildest thing we’ve found is — just know we’re still processing it.